Home Again

Here I am, 12 months and 19 countries later, having come full circle in what was the most exciting and dynamic year of my life to date. I am awake and inspired! The experience of travel is something that cannot be replicated in any other way. Freedom, openness, reflection, challenge, joy, gratitude, a good soul-stirring, all in one day. It gives and gives and gives…

It has been much too long since I've written here, and that is sure to change as I process this whole experience and what it means in the coming weeks. There are some logistical reasons for the delay, such as unreliable internet on much of my journey and minimal screen time. I also had a wedding to coordinate! I'm glad I was able to get a few photos posted on Facebook, as dates, times, and sequences become more muddled in my mind. I have ridiculous amounts of photos to cull through, journals to reread, thoughts to remember, lessons to mull over. Care to join me?

Another reason is the conscious decision I made as I embarked on this journey to actually, physically, decidedly be "in the moment" as I traveled. This philosophy I have admired for years has been one at the forefront of my mind, but not put into practice explicitly. Isn't it interesting how we often back burner new ways of thinking or being that we clearly know would be positive enhancements to our lives? Brilliant ideas that are contained in pages on our bookshelves, bulleted as goals in our personal inventories, or the focus of discussion with good, introspective friends.  This year gave me the opportunity to let go and finally do what should be so natural. Just be. Just notice. Just observe and feel and ponder the now.

And in that, I was present in a way I'd never been before. No past, no future, just the moment. The beautiful and the ugly ones, the celebrations and the struggles… each had its place in my experience that I am thankful for. I had a chance to really get to know my discomfort and resulting frustration in not knowing the language and being treated like an ignorant tourist and not an experienced traveler. Or my disdain for incompetence and service not at a level I would expect. I learned so many interesting things about myself. And then there are the countless, crystal clear memories I appreciate so much more because I was focused and intent on experiencing them completely…

- the Balinese boys who spoke no English but serenaded me with "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri at least a few dozen times, somewhat out of tune, sitting in the courtyard of the B&B on Gili Trawangan.
- the pleasant sound of an American speaking in Lombok, post dog bite fiasco, just when I needed it most.
- the taste of really great coffee in Australia after months of mediocre, and knowing every one would be tip top from then on.
- the warmth of joy when he asked me to spend my life with him in front of a Burmese sunset, when I least expected it.
- sharing the discovery of never-ending paths and trails and breathtaking landscapes with a lifelong friend in New Zealand.
- the pleasure of meaningful, heartfelt conversations with family, friends, and strangers all along the way.
- the pure bliss of having so many people I love in one place, celebrating love together at our wedding.
- remembering where I came from while cruising through beautiful Montana state, reminiscing and sharing with people who knew me on those first steps to becoming me.

… and so many more. It's taken me so long to get grounded in this place, and to genuinely be wrapped up in the here and now rather than incessantly planning for weeks and months and years down the road. I used to be a person that would be on vacation, laying on the most gorgeous of beaches, planning for the next vacation! This year, I've been the person that enjoyed each and every bite of food in every country, knowing I had a wedding dress to buy and a 20th reunion to attend. Rather than worry about it, I ate my way through the world. Savored each dish, each glass of wine, each spectacular flavor and pairing. And I don't regret a bite.

Bagan, Burma. Game changer.